The Best Random Stories EVER!
by Arrows the Wolf
Summary: So my friends are over today, and we decided to write random stories. These aren't supposed to make sense. Read and laugh at our complete idiotness!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! It's Arrows! I'm here with my friend Zosia, who's here for the rest day! We're going to be writing a bunch of random stories that will make absolutely no sense at all! Yeah! This will be a multi chapter fic, probably about three or four chapters, depending on how long each chapter is. My sister and her friend might also be joining us in later chapters.**

**Key:**

**Arrows: **normal

**Zosia: ****Bold**

**Let's do this!**

Harry Potter is feeling cranky and pubescent today. **Dumbledore is shaving, and he has a towel wrapped around his waist and then runs out into the hallway with his face half shaved. **Harry yells at Dumbledore "Why are you half shaved? For that, you can have my fist in your face!" **Then it turns out that Pansy Parkinson was screaming because she saw Malfoy making out with Cho Chang. **That made Ginny scream like Voldemort does when children prank call him because Ginny isn't in love with Harry right now because Harry is cranky and pubescent, so she's in love Draco Malfoy. **And then Mrs. Norris walks into the hallway and turns into Bellatrix, and starts doing a hula dance. **Sirius and Remus die because Bellatrix is doing the hula and that is just something you NEVER want to see. **But then Filch comes in and starts screaming "BIRDS! BIRDS! BIRDS! BIRDS!" and then he faints. **Ron and Crabbe start singing "Twist and Shout" because Filch has banned that song, but now he's unconscious, so they can sing it. **Professor McGonagall comes down in boxing clothes and starts beating up Harry Potter. **And then Hermione comes down in workout clothes and stops Professor M. from beating up Harry and then teaches all the professors how to work out. **Then Cedric comes in with the Gryffindor sword and yells "Yippee! I'm a vampire!" **Then Fred and George, who are the only normal ones today, look at each other, and say "I knew we shouldn't have let Arrows and her friends take over the Harry Potter series."


	2. Chapter 2

**It's Arrows again! This time I not only have Zosia, but also my sister Morgan and Zosia's older sister Phoebe.**

**Key:**

**Arrows: **normal

**Morgan: underlined bold**

**Phoebe: **_italics_

**Zosia: ****Bold**

Draco Malfoy had a frog named Doofus. **The frog had a red dot on its buttocks. **_The red dot was infected and oozing. _**And out of that oozing pus came Professor Snape. **Draco Malfoy got so grossed out by the fact that his frog oozed out Professor Snape that he screamed like a girl and fainted. **Then Professor Snape said "For peeing yourself, seven hundred thousand points from Slytherin!" **_And then Hermione ran up and punched both of them in the face because she's awesome like that. _**Then Professor Trelwaney came running holding a beagle saying "Look what Professor McGonagall did to Harry Potter!" **So then Ron was all "HAAAARRRRY! THE SPIDERS WANT ME TO TAP DANCE! I DON'T WANNA TAP DANCE! BUT YOU'RE A DOG NOW SO YOU CAN'T TELL ME TO TELL THOSE SPIDERS THAT I DON'T WANT TO TAP DANCE!" **Then Duckie Momo said "Duckie Momo here! And I just came here to say that this is Duckie Momo here!" **_Then Hermione's all like "Avada Kedavra!" and kills Duckie Momo. _**Then the** **beagle jumps on Hermione and starts tearing her to shreds and then it turns back into Harry and he brings back Duckie Momo.** But then Ron gets all mad at Harry for killing Hermione so he duct tapes Harry to the wall and brings Hermione back by tap dancing. **And then Duckie Momo says "This is Duckie Momo here and I just wanted to teach you how to use a wand! First, you point the wand at your head. Then yell Avada Kedavra and DIE!"** _And then Hermione says, "Well, Professor McGonagall has been acting weird all day so I'm going to go smack her and see if that makes her come back." _** But then Harry turns back into a beagle and escapes from the duct tape and goes and kills Bellatrix. **Meanwhile, Draco Malfoy is stopping Hermione from smacking McGonagall because it turns out McGonagall is Draco's mom. **Then a voice in Draco's mind says "Duckie Momo here! I just wanted to remind you to slap yourself in the face", so he slaps himself in the face. **_And then Hermione says "Bye everybody! This school is too crazy you're all leaving. _**And then Harry says "You know what guys? Professor McGonagall isn't crazy. I'm an Animagus. I can turn into a beagle anytime I want!" **And then world blew up.


	3. Chapter 3

**OMG guys… it's the last chapter on here! This time I only have Zosia, and it's probably going to super short… but oh well. I love writing these anyway. **

**Key:**

**Arrows: **normal

**Zosia: ****Bold**

There once was a boy named Harry, who constantly conquered death. **Harry's on YouTube looking at Potter Puppet Pals, and he's mad at the creators because he's all werid looking (in puppet form) and he's like "I'm going to kill those people!" **But then he figures out that killing people is illegal. **Professor Trelawney has been stargazing, and she's all "OMG that constellation looks like Professor McGonagall and me, except we're young!" **Then Snape and Sirius started dueling. **But then Hagrid sees a dragon and says "OMG its Norbert!" and then he does a little happy jig that he made up.** That jig was scarring so Harry, Ron, and Hermione went blind because it was so scarring. **And then Fred and George jump onto a giant fan and start spinning around screaming "WE OPENED OUR JOKE SHOP!" **And then Dumbledore got angry so he blew up Hogwarts.

**The End**


End file.
